Margin in Marriage: Strategies for Staying Connected While Raising Kids
In a world that glorifies hustle and rewards packed schedules, many couples find themselves drifting apart—not because of conflict, but because of crowding. The very good things—raising children, managing a home, building a career, even serving in ministry—can begin to overshadow the one relationship that holds it all together: the marriage.
If you’re feeling like passing ships or polite roommates in your own home, you’re not alone. But here’s the good news: your marriage doesn’t have to stay that way. God offers a better design. And it starts with one often-overlooked word: margin.
What Is Margin—and Why Does It Matter?
Margin is the intentional space we leave in our lives—emotionally, physically, spiritually—to protect what matters most. In marriage, it’s the difference between simply surviving and actually connecting.
Scripture calls marriage a covenant, a union that reflects Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:31–32). That kind of union doesn’t flourish in the leftovers. It needs priority, planning, and yes—margin.
But in today’s fast-paced parenting world, margin rarely happens on its own. It must be created.
Why Margin in Marriage Is a Legacy Issue
At Legacy Parenting, we believe that the strength of your marriage shapes the spiritual environment of your home. When the foundation is healthy, your family flourishes.
Marriage isn't just a private relationship—it’s a discipleship model. Your children are learning, not just from your rules, but from your rhythms. When they see two people choosing each other in every season, honoring biblical priorities, and cultivating joy, they carry that image into their own future.
In short: your marriage is part of your child’s legacy.
Three Biblical Priorities That Require Margin
If you want to create margin in your marriage, start here:
1. Spiritual Oneness
“The two shall become one flesh…” —Genesis 2:24
Spiritual unity doesn’t happen by default. It comes from shared time in God’s Word, praying together, and aligning your family’s direction around biblical truth. Make space to pursue God together—not just side by side, but in true unity.
Practice: Begin your week by praying over your schedule together. Ask: “Does this reflect our values—or just our obligations?”
2. Relational Presence
You can live in the same house and still feel miles apart. Margin in marriage means carving out regular, unrushed time where you’re not just solving problems—but actually enjoying each other.
Practice: Establish a weekly “off-duty” hour where you’re not parents, chauffeurs, or planners—just husband and wife. No agenda, no phones. Just presence.
3. Physical and Emotional Rest
You were not made to run nonstop. Even Jesus withdrew to rest and be with the Father (Luke 5:16). If your calendar never leaves room for stillness, it’s time to reevaluate.
Practice: Say no with purpose. For every “yes” to an activity, ask: “What am I saying no to?” Guard your energy for what matters most.
Realigning Your Family’s Rhythm
Creating margin isn't about perfection—it’s about direction. It may require hard conversations, calendar adjustments, or even disappointing others. But you’re not being selfish. You’re being faithful—to your spouse, to your calling, and to the legacy you're building.
And when you begin to realign your rhythms around God’s design, you’ll find something surprising: not only will your marriage be strengthened, but your children will feel more secure. Because when mom and dad are connected, the whole home breathes easier.
Final Encouragement
You don’t need a grand retreat or a ten-step plan. Just begin.
Start by naming your top three priorities as a couple.
Ask: Are we living them out—or are they buried under busyness?
Take one step this week to protect time with your spouse.
Remember, margin is a spiritual discipline. It’s how you guard the sacred. And in marriage, that sacred space is where legacy is formed—quietly, daily, and with great intention.
Want to go deeper?
If this stirred something in your heart and you’re ready to explore more practical ways to create margin and prioritize your marriage, don’t miss Episode 7 of the Legacy Parenting Podcast: “From Roommates to One: Creating Margin in Marriage”.
In it, John and I share real stories from our own journey, biblical priorities that guide our relationship, and the specific rhythms that helped us stay connected through the busy years of parenting.
🎧 Listen now on your favorite podcast platform.
Let’s build marriages that reflect Christ, raise children who are secure in that love, and create homes that leave a lasting legacy.
