Is Your Calendar Discipling Your Child?
"Busyness isn’t neutral. It disciples. It tells your child what you value, who gets your time, and how love is expressed."
— Lori Lane, Legacy Parenting
Have you ever looked at your calendar and thought: This doesn’t even reflect what we say we value as a family?
You’re not alone.
Many families today feel like they’re living in a constant state of motion—shuttling between school drop-offs, sports practice, youth group, and dinner in the drive-thru. But beneath all the busyness lies a crucial question: Is your calendar forming your family—or fragmenting it?
This isn’t just about being tired. It’s about being spiritually distracted.
And here’s the sobering truth: The greatest enemy of your child’s spiritual formation might not be rebellion. It might be distraction.
The Hidden Cost of a Full Schedule
Our culture idolizes hustle. Toddlers are in enrichment classes. Teens are buried in school pressure and digital noise. And parents? We’re often trying to hold it all together—working, serving, parenting, and wondering why our souls (and our homes) feel dry.
When the family calendar is overpacked, presence is replaced by performance. Conversations become transactions. Eye contact is lost. And the home—God’s intended sanctuary of discipleship—starts to feel like a train station where people just pass through.
Let’s be clear: Margin isn’t laziness. It’s obedience. It’s worship. And it’s where legacy is built.
Holy Margin: A Biblical Invitation
From the beginning, God modeled rest—not because He needed it, but because we do.
Genesis 2:2 – “By the seventh day, God had finished the work… so He rested.”
Exodus 20:8 – “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”
Mark 6:31 – “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”
Luke 10:42 – “Mary has chosen what is better…”
Jesus invites us to a slower pace, not so we can be less productive—but so we can be more present.
Margin creates space for what matters most: reflection, connection, and discipleship.
Applying the Four Legacy Parenting Principles to Family Margin
At Legacy Parenting, we frame every conversation around four core biblical principles. Let’s explore how each one reshapes our understanding of margin in the home.
1. The Supremacy of Scripture
Instead of asking, “Can we fit this in?” we ask, “Does this align with God’s call on our family?”
God’s Word should shape our rhythms—not our FOMO, our guilt, or our neighbors’ schedules. If Scripture emphasizes rest, reflection, and relationship, then our calendars should reflect those values.
📖 Ask yourself: Is our weekly schedule driven more by opportunity… or obedience?
2. Imago Dei – The Child as Image-Bearer
Your child is not a project, a performer, or a résumé in the making. They are an eternal soul, made in the image of God.
And eternal souls need space to breathe. Constant activity suffocates curiosity, creativity, and even spiritual sensitivity.
When we build margin, we’re telling our kids:
“You matter—even when you’re not achieving.”
“You are deeply loved—even when you’re not performing.”
That kind of love sticks. And it shapes identity for a lifetime.
3. The Biblical Priority of the Heart
We’re not managing behavior—we’re shaping souls.
Heart work takes time. It happens in the in-between moments: while folding laundry, taking a walk, lingering at the dinner table. But if our schedules are maxed out, we rush right past those moments.
Margin allows us to notice—not just what our child is doing, but who they’re becoming.
And that’s the work of legacy.
4. The God-Ordained Institution of Family
The home is not a launching pad for performance. It is a sanctuary for presence.
You were never meant to disciple your kids “on the go” only. Deuteronomy 6 calls us to teach our children “when you sit… when you walk… when you lie down… when you rise.”
These moments require rhythms that breathe. When we create margin, we make space for the very purpose of family: relationship, spiritual formation, and legacy living.
What Margin Looks Like — In Real Life
Here’s what this might look like, practically:
For Toddlers & Preschoolers
Prioritize unstructured play—not just structured programs
Guard bedtime rhythms with books and prayer
Take screen-free walks and sing scripture together
For Elementary Kids
Block off 2–3 nights a week with no activities
Add shared rituals like reading aloud or meal prep
Protect slower family rhythms—they matter more than awards
For Tweens & Teens
Create space for late-night conversations or drive-time connection
Silence the phones during meals and family time
Let them experience stillness so they can hear their own hearts
For Young Adults
Practice presence with them—even if it’s a text, a shared meal, or a restful visit
Model Sabbath living. Invite them into reflection and rest
Don’t push productivity—affirm their identity
One Small Step This Week
"You cannot disciple hearts at a frantic pace."
Here’s a gentle challenge:
Say no to one thing crowding your calendar
Say yes to one hour of undistracted presence with your child
Ask: Is our calendar discipling our child more than we are?
You don’t need to overhaul everything today. But you can begin.
Start with one rhythm. One decision. One holy space of stillness.
Because margin isn’t empty space—it’s sacred ground where discipleship takes root.
Listen to the Full Podcast
Want to hear more about creating family margin in a culture of busyness?
🎧 Listen to the full episode.
Legacy Parenting is about raising children who are biblically grounded, relationally rooted, and spiritually resilient. That doesn’t happen by accident. It happens when we build homes that breathe—homes that reflect the pace and peace of God.
Faith and Courage,
Lori
